Busy Nights
by nicol-leoraine
Summary: Will always had trouble sleeping.


**A/N:** Written for tvnetwork2_las. Prompt was [character] dreams about [character]. While the fic didn't exactly fit the prompt, it_ is_ about dreams. And about Will:-)

**Beta-reader:** Tania

**Warnings**: secondary character deaths, spoilers up to 3x02 Firewall

**Busy Nights**

Will had a strange relationship with dreams. As a psychiatrist, he knew they were important, that they could show the person's deepest thoughts and cravings. Some dreams were prophetic, some dealt with sexual frustration. There were happy dreams as well as sad dreams. For Will, most of his childhood dreams were plain scary. First there was the incident with the Yeti, or what Will later learned was a frustrated Big Guy getting his kicks out of scaring little kids. The nightmares that followed were written off to horror flicks he secretly tried to watch, and soon Will convinced himself that the monster was indeed just a thing from nightmares.

What happened later though, wasn't something he could dismiss so easily. The attack that cost his mother's life was fuzzy in Will's mind. All he remembered was screaming, the crippling fear, and the image of the beast pulling his mother away. He didn't know what happened after, who found him or what was said to him. All he remembered were the horrible nightmares that followed.

He often woke up in the middle of the night, shaking uncontrollably, a silent scream caught in his throat. While he hated those dreams, he knew how to deal with them. It were the nice ones that left him crying and wishing he could forget. The dreams where his mom was alive and well. Waking up from those dreams, thinking that none of that ever happened and that his mom will never again walk into the room, that hurt. It was easier to push everything behind a thick wall and pretend it never happened. Good and bad alike. Will's life started anew.

By the time Will had to choose his school and his future, the dreams became something of a fascination for him. The study of psychiatry gave him plenty of chances to indulge himself in the theme. He knew there were people who didn't dream, or who could control what they were dreaming of. Sometimes he could do it too. If he thought hard about a person or a place before falling asleep, it was almost guaranteed he'd dream of them. The seminars at school helped him to understand what some dreams meant, and his work gave him a look into the minds of people who destroyed themselves trying to fulfill they dreams, or who spent their lives running away from monsters, imagined as well as real. Will liked that time, when he could analyze everything, even his own nightmares. He didn't always like what they were telling him, but he accepted it and went on. The school gave him a chance to dive into the human mind and Will plunged in eagerly.

Then a black car hit him in a dark street. Helen Magnus handed him her business card, and Will's world turned upside down. The monsters from nightmares became real. One was serving him tea, the other was prowling, secured behind a see-through wall. Will wanted to run, wanted to wake up, but he couldn't. His fascination and need to know were too strong. So he stayed. His dreams changed. He had new nightmares, but also new dreams. For the first time in years he wasn't alone in them. When he woke up shaking, he knew he was safe from the monsters, that even if they could be out there, watching, he wasn't alone to face them when the time came. He had a family now, one that was strong enough to survive anything. At least that was his hope, until the day one of them was gone.

It was a hard blow, losing Ashley like that, but what scared Will was the chance of losing Helen too. Will knew what wishful thinking or false hopes could do to a person, how they could cost their sanity. But he had no reason to fear. Helen Magnus was stronger than any of them.

They survived the loss and went on. Scarred but not broken. Then came Clare and Will lost his heart. When they were together, it was as if he was finally complete, like he could relax. When she died... he was numb. The dreams were strange for a while. Maybe because it was so much harder to reconcile with the reality. After all, a look at the empty bed didn't mean she couldn't be there. She was invisible. She could be anywhere. Will remembered the last time they were together, the way her lips ghosted over his body, her breath hot and sweet on his skin, like a breeze of air. He often dreamed of that moment, felt her touch, the breath of air on his skin. He learned to cherish those dreams.

When he became the host of the Macri, everything changed. He spent several days locked in delirious dreams, having conversations with God like beings, falling in love with Kali herself. He was her Durga, he finally found his purpose. He knew where he belonged, to whom, and he was happy with that. But it didn't last, as it never lasted before. Then came the pain, the betrayal, the death. Then there was nothing. No dreams, hardly any sleep. He survived but didn't know how, didn't know if any of the dreams he had during that time were real. Didn't know why he felt so hollow.

Even Magnus, being the awesome doctor she was, couldn't figure it out and Will became desperate. The occasional flashbacks he got weren't enough. They gave him only glimpses and it was like reliving his own death again and again. For that moment, Will really hated his mind, hated the dreams that wouldn't come, the dreams that wouldn't give answers. The rescue came from an unknown enemy. It was a blessing in disguise really, as it opened the door to a much more dangerous adventure. But right then, when Will finally got his memories back, he was grateful. He finally knew what happened. He could dream again.

The End


End file.
